When I first heard that my brother was getting married, I only had one question for him: why? Now it is no secret that I am not a big fan of marriage. Over the years I have been witness to the for better and for worse, but rather than being until death parts the couple, it's been a longstanding scenario to watch a judge part them. So of course I had to know why he wanted to get married.
One year ago today my brother was on the brink of death. A horrible illness caused his entire body to shut down. Organs were completely offline; only his brain was still functioning. It was a terrible time for all, including his new spouse who at the time was dating my brother all of maybe 6 months. But this young man (yes, man) stepped up to the plate and was by my brother's side the entire time when it seemed he was at death's door.
Well, as you can gather from my story, my brother managed to make a miraculous recovery. And it was during this recovery that the reason for this wedding came to my brother's mind. Being that close to the end makes you appreciate people ... And that's exactly what happened. My brother realized that this man was the love of his life (Only weeks before the incident, I had a conversation with my brother where he described this man as "possibly the one.") and he couldn't live without him.
After everything that happened last year and the long road to recovery he experienced, I had no other question except for "When do you want me there?" As it turned out, I was the best man.
The wedding was a lovely ceremony (his spouse is Jewish so we had a Jewish wedding) and it was definitely clear that these two people were more than willing to share their lives with each other.
Marriage is made up of so many things, one of which is a longing to share and unselfishly give all you have to each other. If that story doesn't prove that these two should marry I don't know any other that will convince you. During their dance my mother leaned over to me crying saying that's the happiest she'd ever seen my brother in a long time. And she's right.
While I observed this wonderful ceremony, I had to think back on the people in my life. While I'm certainly not on the marriage track, I do believe in lasting relationships. There are people in my life who are special to me for a variety of reasons. And then there are others who drained my energy but I couldn't walk away. I'm sure everyone reading this could say the same thing.
So what's the life lesson? I think what I take away from this wedding and its symbolism is that one step to happiness and well-being is to reset your thinking on intimate relationships (that includes lasting friendships). The way to really find something that will last is to ask yourself this question: can I just live with this man/woman/friend, or is this someone I can't live without? I do have friends that are cool, but they certainly aren't long-lasting. And then I have road dogs that I could picture us old and cranky still down to ride. While I may not find that romantic love that I can't live without, having these lasting friendships certainly do fill my life just nicely.
So if you'll join me in a celebration tonight, I want to toast love ... the kind you can't live without. If you have someone in your life that fits that bill let them know in your own special way. That kind of love is the most valuable treasure on Earth.
Cheersherestolove.com!
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